tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post2635105653230542722..comments2024-03-29T01:22:45.705-05:00Comments on Ordinary Time: Sometimes I get it rightthecurrysevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08932092243753160814noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-60828259966654460982016-05-08T15:52:35.385-05:002016-05-08T15:52:35.385-05:00Sounds like a good blog post to me!
Thanks for re...Sounds like a good blog post to me!<br /><br />Thanks for responding!! My son is 4 and I knew just how to parent him before I had kids. Ha! I appreciate your insight and experience.Carlanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-14675413463037861782016-05-07T21:16:19.383-05:002016-05-07T21:16:19.383-05:00Carla,
There are a couple of things to keep in mi...Carla,<br /><br />There are a couple of things to keep in mind. The first is that children do the best they can. With my screamers, this means that their ability to manage disappointment, frustration, hunger, and irritation is still developing. These are skills that come with maturity. My job is to help give them practice and tools for dealing with the big feelings that are so often overwhelming to them. <br /><br />Yes, after the fact we do a lot of talking about ways that can help avert the descent into screaming. For instance after the snack and regulation was achieved, a little later we talked about how our brains and bodies need different kinds of food and how protein can help us think better. We talked about kinds of food and what is available. At other times, L. has even mentioned that a few times when she is feeling upset, she will get her weighted blanket and that helps to calm her down. This is a huge step for her because she has been an extremely explosive child with very little margin for frustration. She is now maturing to the point where she can begin to recognize when she is starting to feel off balance. Not always, mind you, but sometimes, and it is a step in the right direction.<br /><br /><br />The other thing I try to remember is connection before correction. No, in the midst of the screaming, there is no logical thought going on, so anything you say is not going to have an effect. Damage control, such as the snack, is the best you can do. I always try to make sure everyone has acheived a sense of calm before addressing the behavior. I know that my children do not enjoy being in such a state because they feel out of control. They are not doing it on purpose and are certainly not doing it to annoy me. <br /><br />For my first five children, this style of parenting would have completely annoyed me. I was a good parent and consequently, I had well-behaved children. I knew what I was doing and if all those other parents out there would just shape up, they could have well-behaved children as well. And then number six came along. If my traditional, consequence-based parenting style was going to work, he would have been so phenomenally behaved that we would have started to see a halo glow around his head. I tell you, I gave it my all and used every single trick in the book, over and over and over. While that style will work with many children, for children who tend to explosiveness, it doesn't do a thing. I've tried. It just adds fuel to the fire. In order to save our son and our family, we had to change, so we did.<br /><br />I'm so glad we did because we needed all of our new tools to deal with our extremely easily frustrated little girls. <br /><br />Hmmm.. maybe this should have been an actual blog post. :-)<br /><br />ethecurrysevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08932092243753160814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-35185330616994936552016-05-07T20:33:00.186-05:002016-05-07T20:33:00.186-05:00What do you do to address the poor behavior? I kn...What do you do to address the poor behavior? I know it's so important as moms to take care of the reason for the poor behavior, if we can, but I think it's important to try and teach my son (age 4) to act in a non-screaming fashion - even if he doesn't feel good.<br /><br />Did you address it after they'd had their snack? I certainly know that trying to correct it in the middle of the screams tends to be a lost cause, but am often at a loss as to when to deal with it.Carlanoreply@blogger.com