tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post1967580831534016122..comments2024-03-22T14:58:07.239-05:00Comments on Ordinary Time: Hope for the hopeless, or baring my soulthecurrysevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08932092243753160814noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-82674198494923506152012-02-01T20:36:05.606-06:002012-02-01T20:36:05.606-06:00Thank you for all the excellent suggestions you ad...Thank you for all the excellent suggestions you added to my post. There is so much to try to remember all at once when one is parenting these children.<br /><br />Anonymous -- I'm glad we could all help a little bit. I am still praying for you! If you even feel the need to talk to someone who totally gets this, use the contact me email and we can work out a way to chat.<br /><br />And Lucy -- I really love the line, "It's a special blessing needing a special measure of grace." Beautiful.<br /><br />ethecurrysevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08932092243753160814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-81990566361372491282012-01-31T20:09:30.290-06:002012-01-31T20:09:30.290-06:00I would add to the list- don't underestimate t...I would add to the list- don't underestimate the power of loving touch. God made our bodies, hormones, and sense of smell to facilitate attachment. Obviously this is complicated if touch-aversion is an issue, but maybe snuggling while sleeping will help? I am one of those people with a very large personal space bubble, and giving that up has been a hard part of parenting for me, but I have noticed that it helped our bonding process a lot. <br />I'm saying a pray for you as soon as I sign off. Even "easy" adoptions are hard...I can't imagine how difficult it must be to wade through one that has been more complicated.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12199373748547106950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-32498942873026172412012-01-31T19:12:16.068-06:002012-01-31T19:12:16.068-06:00Another thought, there is a FB group called "...Another thought, there is a FB group called "Moms of Attachment Challenged Children". It is a group ONLY peopled by moms who are dealing with kids at some point of the attachment disorder spectrum. There are different beliefs and faiths, different methods, etc, but we are all actively trying to help our children heal and it is a very supportive group. <br /><br />If you or anyone wants more information about it please send me an email at Zehlahlum@gmail.com_https://www.blogger.com/profile/16045401564948651914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-34062688832305704862012-01-31T17:37:06.298-06:002012-01-31T17:37:06.298-06:00I want thank you for your comments, help and praye...I want thank you for your comments, help and prayers. I do need to change my mind set because it is too easy to get stuck in the negative and I seem to be there now. We have tried many of the things you have suggeted and we may need to start all over and try them again. There are some days where I actually don't want to think about how to continue, what to do next, because it is a lot of work. But I do continue I pick up and go on and do my best. I do have a mom's group to go to and it helps because they do know how hard it is.<br />People we know who have not adopted really don't get it and can't get it. The public child and the one at home are two different people, trying to explain it just doesn't work with most people.<br />So thanks to all of you again, I do read your blogs and know we are not alone. I have been lax in both prayer and meditation so time to move back to those and work on the positive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-77513201391367071832012-01-31T11:12:05.067-06:002012-01-31T11:12:05.067-06:00Powerful. Even tears at the end. I always say ad...Powerful. Even tears at the end. I always say adopting Vu was the hardest thing I have ever CHOSEN to do in my life (and I would say it IS the hardest thing, but losing a child to cancer was infinitely worse). BUT, adopting Vu has also been the MOST rewarding thing I have ever done in my life--to see a child come as far as he has, a child so hurt, who everyone would now describe with the word JOY--that makes the early work trivial. <br />You have such a great list of resources--they all add up to healing for the child and family--and we used many of them too.<br />Thank you Eliz. for being a mentor to me in our time of challenges--I'll never forget your words of "talking me off a ledge." Even tho I didn't know you at the time (I only read your blog) it was incredibly important to know someone who had BTDT and understood--AND offered hope!<br />Healing CAN happen annonymous. My heart goes out to you and I echo Elizabeth's words--dont' give up--change can happen! I will also pray for you daily--when you are struggling, know prayers surround you! Love, AnnAnnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11120490995754307409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-41242994849023164612012-01-31T10:22:26.289-06:002012-01-31T10:22:26.289-06:00"My life is richer for having come through th..."My life is richer for having come through the fire." <br /><br />Absolutely, yes. Yes it is.LawMommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17772740759391002766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-89693839796938894542012-01-31T09:22:09.940-06:002012-01-31T09:22:09.940-06:00I also wanted to add that I will pray for Anonymou...I also wanted to add that I will pray for Anonymous, Elizabeth and others including my own family members who have struggles with their adoptive children. It's a special blessing needing a special measure of grace.Lucynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-14860882495676611512012-01-31T09:19:44.083-06:002012-01-31T09:19:44.083-06:00This is probably really small potatoes in addressi...This is probably really small potatoes in addressing the things you and others have with some adoptive children, but fwiw, in the small areas of positive change I learned a while back that I can correct behaviors nicely. <br /><br />I'm talking about the small stuff, where you lean over in church and tell them take their fingers out of their mouths, or tell them for the umpteenth time that knees go under the dinner table, those little things you remind them of so often but are not real discipline issues. I can deliver those reminders with a smile and a hug or a gentle touch. <br /><br />It's too easy to frown and be gruff while you think (HOW many times do I have to say this), but reputations are built in the little things, and so are habits.Lucynoreply@blogger.com