Miracles
I am of the opinion that one reason we do not see so many miracles these days is that we are all so terribly self-sufficient. Why should God step in and do the miraculous when we have it all taken care of? It is only when you allow God to lead you into situations where you are in over your head and realize that there is really nothing you can do to help the situation that God shows up with a miracle.
And why I am mentioning this? Because I firmly believe we are having the incredible privilege of having front row seats to a miracle. That miracle would be the healing miracle that God is working in TM. And it is a miracle. But it took us getting to a point where we had to say that we were at the end; we had no more answers; we were not going to be able to fix this ourselves.
We have been seeing a therapist nearly weekly, and while that has been good, I just can't chalk up the amazing gains we have been seeing just to that. Even though I really, really like his (our?) therapist, they )TM and the therapist) haven't really done a whole lot of 'real' work. (I know this from discussions I've had with her.) They have played a lot of Uno, and as a result she is slowly gaining TM's trust, but it's not as though he has been opening up and they have been having deep, life-changing discussions.
Why do I maintain that this can only be attributed to a work of God? Because some of the things we are seeing (or are not seeing as the case may be), are so extreme that it is the only way I can describe it. I'll give you an example from today to show you what I mean.
We should have set ourselves up for the perfect storm of trauma-based behavior today. The compounding factors: TM's birthday is coming in a couple of days (anyone with an adopted child affected by trauma knows that this alone can be a huge trigger), my parents were coming into town after lunch (equals change of routine combined with anticipation), Gretel had accidentally gotten a hold of a robot which TM had made out of recyclables and destroyed it (this is difficult for the most well-adjusted child), we've been talking about costumes for beggar's night (NOT TM's favorite thing and he has often opted out of it), and we were doing some cleaning and organizing to prepare for my parents (helping to pick-up, especially when it involves his room, has always been very threatening to TM). That's a whole lot of triggers, any one of which in the past would have been enough to send us all over the edge into the abyss. I could feel my stomach tightening into knots at merely the thought of what was to come.
But my stomach was clenching for nothing. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Zero trauma-based behavior. Just a couple of times throughout the morning, he started down that path, but was immediately able to pull himself together, without my help. This alone is huge, but there's more. He had asked if I could laminate something for him, so I told him he could get the laminator out for me while I did some laundry. The next thing I know, he is coming to me and saying that he was sorry, but he thought he might have broken something on it. I looked at it, and he hadn't, but did you catch that? First he came to me and confessed that he had thought he had done something wrong. He didn't try to hide it. He didn't try to tell me someone else had done it. He didn't wait for me to find it and then deny any knowledge. He sought me out and told me he thought he had made a mistake. I nearly cried right there.
The whole morning (and parts of previous days as well) have been filled with incidents like this. Normal behavior. Calm behavior. We have heard jokes and laughter. We have seen smiles. We feel as though we are witnessing the birth of a new child. That's not to say the path has been completely smooth. There have been setbacks and frustrations, but isn't that true with all children? There is something to celebrate when we are seeing more progress than regression.
I don't know why God is choosing to heal TM now, but I will shout to the world that He is doing it.
Soli Deo Gloria!
And why I am mentioning this? Because I firmly believe we are having the incredible privilege of having front row seats to a miracle. That miracle would be the healing miracle that God is working in TM. And it is a miracle. But it took us getting to a point where we had to say that we were at the end; we had no more answers; we were not going to be able to fix this ourselves.
We have been seeing a therapist nearly weekly, and while that has been good, I just can't chalk up the amazing gains we have been seeing just to that. Even though I really, really like his (our?) therapist, they )TM and the therapist) haven't really done a whole lot of 'real' work. (I know this from discussions I've had with her.) They have played a lot of Uno, and as a result she is slowly gaining TM's trust, but it's not as though he has been opening up and they have been having deep, life-changing discussions.
Why do I maintain that this can only be attributed to a work of God? Because some of the things we are seeing (or are not seeing as the case may be), are so extreme that it is the only way I can describe it. I'll give you an example from today to show you what I mean.
We should have set ourselves up for the perfect storm of trauma-based behavior today. The compounding factors: TM's birthday is coming in a couple of days (anyone with an adopted child affected by trauma knows that this alone can be a huge trigger), my parents were coming into town after lunch (equals change of routine combined with anticipation), Gretel had accidentally gotten a hold of a robot which TM had made out of recyclables and destroyed it (this is difficult for the most well-adjusted child), we've been talking about costumes for beggar's night (NOT TM's favorite thing and he has often opted out of it), and we were doing some cleaning and organizing to prepare for my parents (helping to pick-up, especially when it involves his room, has always been very threatening to TM). That's a whole lot of triggers, any one of which in the past would have been enough to send us all over the edge into the abyss. I could feel my stomach tightening into knots at merely the thought of what was to come.
But my stomach was clenching for nothing. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Zero trauma-based behavior. Just a couple of times throughout the morning, he started down that path, but was immediately able to pull himself together, without my help. This alone is huge, but there's more. He had asked if I could laminate something for him, so I told him he could get the laminator out for me while I did some laundry. The next thing I know, he is coming to me and saying that he was sorry, but he thought he might have broken something on it. I looked at it, and he hadn't, but did you catch that? First he came to me and confessed that he had thought he had done something wrong. He didn't try to hide it. He didn't try to tell me someone else had done it. He didn't wait for me to find it and then deny any knowledge. He sought me out and told me he thought he had made a mistake. I nearly cried right there.
The whole morning (and parts of previous days as well) have been filled with incidents like this. Normal behavior. Calm behavior. We have heard jokes and laughter. We have seen smiles. We feel as though we are witnessing the birth of a new child. That's not to say the path has been completely smooth. There have been setbacks and frustrations, but isn't that true with all children? There is something to celebrate when we are seeing more progress than regression.
I don't know why God is choosing to heal TM now, but I will shout to the world that He is doing it.
Soli Deo Gloria!
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