I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I just cannot help myself, and I read comments. In this case, it was some of the comments attached to the article I posted about asking people to sign the petition to investigate the burdensome regulation being required for international adoption.
On the whole, there are three varieties... comments saying someone signed the petition, comments from those who are opposed to adoption of any variety, and a large number of people asking some variation of the question used in the title. I realize that in all the writing I've done about adoption, I have never addressed this particular issue. Some of you may very well be wondering why a family would choose international adoption. While I cannot speak for everyone, I can share some of my thoughts.
The first thing to understand is that the US foster care system is not an adoption program, it is a f…
If you are part of the adoption world, this phrase is probably very familiar, if you're not (and I know I have more than a few readers who have landed here who are not) it might not mean anything to you. So, in the interest of continuing education, that's what I'm going to write about today.
Indiscriminate affection is the term used to describe the behavior of children who are willing to love anyone and everyone. It is a survival mechanism born out of not having a person to permanently attach to. An orphanage is not a natural place for a child and to survive it, children cope in different ways. Learning to gain the attention and affection of the adults who are there is one of these ways. And what better way to get the attention and affection of those adults than to be charming and make them think this particular child is madly in love with them. Even if the child just happened to meet that particular adult five minutes ago. And the behavior works and so is encouraged.
We have spent the last three Sundays attending different churches in the area. One was small, and the other two fairly large. They were also different campuses of the same church, so had that added factor as well. It's been interesting.
The smallest church we've visited so far was also the friendliest. Friendly as in, people coming up and introducing themselves, telling you how glad they were to see you, asking if you had questions, etc. etc. It was also small enough that we caused a bit of a stir when we arrived. We usually cause a bit of a stir, because we are not your typical family, so we are used to that. The small church also managed to avoid falling into the 'desperate for members' feeling, which you can sometimes get when new people walk into a smaller church.
The two satellites of the larger church did not have the same welcoming atmosphere as the smaller church. This is not necessarily a deal-breaker in my book, because of where we came from. The church we ju…